Writing a eulogy
How to start, how long it should be, and what to do if you cannot read it.
A eulogy is a tribute to the person who has died, sharing memories, stories and what made them special. Around three to five minutes is a helpful guide, but there is no fixed length.
You do not need to be a confident writer or public speaker. Speaking from the heart and sharing what mattered to you is enough.
Five prompts to help you get started
- 1.
Who they were to you
Think about your relationship with them and what that relationship meant to you.
- 2.
Where they came from
Include details about their life, such as where they grew up, their family, work and interests, choosing the details that feel most meaningful.
- 3.
One thing they always did
Think of a familiar saying, a special habit or a small detail that captures their personality.
- 4.
One story
Choose one or two stories that show their character, bring back a happy memory or explain why they were special to you.
- 5.
What you will miss
Think about what you will miss most about them and what you would like people to remember.
Read it out loud before the day
Practise reading your eulogy aloud to check the timing and make sure the words feel natural when spoken. You can make changes wherever a sentence feels difficult to say.
Print your eulogy in a clear, comfortable font and use a larger text size if helpful. Number the pages and keep them together in a folder or with a paperclip.
You can choose who reads your eulogy
You can read the eulogy yourself, ask a family member or friend to deliver it, or ask the minister or celebrant to read it on your behalf.
A minister or celebrant can read your tribute for you. Let them know if you would like your words read exactly as written or are happy for minor adjustments to help with delivery.
If you cannot get through it
Writing or delivering a eulogy can be emotional, and it is perfectly understandable if you find it difficult to continue. Pause, take a breath or have a sip of water. You can ask someone you trust to stand beside you, continue reading if needed, or take over completely. There is no expectation that you must finish it yourself.
Give a copy to the minister or celebrant beforehand and agree that they will step in if you stop.
Including your eulogy in the order of service
If it suits the service, you can ask for your tribute to be included in the printed order of service. You could print a short version, or a favourite line from it. We design and print them.
Ring us if you are stuck
We are happy to read yours over the phone.
