Deciding what to do with the ashes
Your options for collecting, keeping, scattering or burying ashes, along with some practical guidance to help you decide.
There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to ashes. Many families know immediately what they would like to do, while others prefer to take some time before deciding. Whatever you choose, we can explain the options and help you make arrangements.
As part of the cremation arrangements, you will be asked what you would like to happen to your loved one’s ashes. You can arrange for the crematorium to deal with them, nominate someone to collect them, or ask for them to be held while you decide.
Your options for your loved one’s ashes
- The crematorium can arrange for the ashes to be scattered or buried according to its policies and procedures. Memorial options may also be available.
- You, a family member, a nominated representative or your funeral director can arrange collection of the ashes, subject to the crematorium’s procedures.
- You can ask the crematorium to hold the ashes while you decide what you would like to do. You may be asked to provide an intended collection date or timeframe.
You do not need to decide straight away
You do not have to make a final decision at the funeral arrangement meeting. If you need more time, let the crematorium know and ask how long the ashes can be held and whether any charges apply.
Many families find it helpful to take time to think about what feels right before making a decision.
If you change your mind after the cremation, contact the crematorium that carried it out. You may need to confirm your revised instructions in writing.
If ashes are not collected
If ashes remain uncollected and no instructions have been provided, the crematorium will follow its policy for contacting the responsible person and dealing with the ashes. Each crematorium has its own policy and timescales, so it is worth checking directly with them if you are unsure.
Scattering ashes
If you are considering scattering ashes in a river or other watercourse, check the Environment Agency’s guidance first. Choose a suitable location, avoid disturbing other people or wildlife, and do not leave flowers, wreaths, plastic or other memorial items in the water.
Many families choose a location that held special significance for their loved one, provided the necessary permissions are in place.
If you wish to scatter ashes on private land, obtain the landowner’s permission first. For public spaces, check with the relevant council or land manager about any local requirements. We can help you establish whom to contact.
Keeping, sharing or burying ashes
You can keep ashes at home, divide them between family members, or arrange for them to be buried or interred in a cemetery or memorial garden. Cemetery and memorial fees may apply, depending on the option you choose.
Any cemetery or memorial charges are set by the relevant council or cemetery operator. Our crematoria and cemetery fees page lists the charges we have been able to verify.
A range of urns, caskets and keepsakes is available if you would like to keep or share ashes with family members. If you would like a memorial plaque or other masonry work, we can refer you to a specialist.
We are here when you are ready
There is no need to make every decision immediately. Whether you would like to collect the ashes, arrange a burial or scattering, or simply discuss the options, we are here to help whenever you feel ready.
